hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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