More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
