In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
