I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
soo... how was my night?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
