All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
