and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
