Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
