Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
