Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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