so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I believe in your delicious
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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