I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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