Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
