i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
