booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
