I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
