this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
