Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
