I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
