nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
