don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
