We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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