Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
