tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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