Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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