what day is it and did you see me today?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
