More tranny stories later!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
