You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
