no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
