How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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