I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
so much tequila, so little girl.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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