i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
