Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
