Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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