Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
