Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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