i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
