It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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