I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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