I should be sponsored by Trojan
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Randomize
