tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
