come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
