i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
