so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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