just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
