Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
only if we run a train.
done.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
