My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
