I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
