Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
