Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
birth control should be required to get into college
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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