the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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