The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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